So, I’m kicking goals with this breast feeding gig again. I always knew that it wasn’t a ‘lack of milk’ issue with the Z man, as I still leak all the time! But now we are in sink and happy. Although, it just seems like no one around me is breast feeding their children any more. Each to their own and as Michaela from Not Another Slippery Dip says ‘fed is best’, but I just am feeling a little alone on my breast feeding journey this time around.
When I lived in Canberra, I felt that there was a lot more support around breast feeding. And most of my friends were doing it – which meant that we had similar ways of thinking, needs and schedules. Breast feeding in the cafe or the park didn’t seem ‘unusual’ as everyone was doing it.
I’ve definitely felt a lot more sideway glances and confused looks this time around, which makes me think ‘would I still be progressing with this if I was a first time Mum?’
They say that motherhood shouldn’t define you…but I feel like it is a major part of who I am and I think that at this point in time, breast feeding is a major part of me as a Mum.
The Z man goes where ever I go, as I choose not to express and give him a bottle. I’ve had a lot of issues with expressing in the past and getting block milk ducts – and the time needed to feed and then express and feed using a bottle just isn’t worth it at the moment. I’d be expressing just to give him the bottle myself, as Mr GoodFoodWeek is working 24/7 and I don’t feel it’s right that I should wake him to do a feed during the night.
I know that it means that I don’t get a break, but if either of the other two wake then he is dealing with them – and so, it appears that we are all running on less sleep then before children.
I just don’t feel like anyone around me understands how I am feeling ‘touched out’.
Baby is hungry – BOOB. Baby cries – BOOB. Baby has a tummy pain – BOOB. Baby gets knocked by brother – BOOB. Don’t get me wrong, I rock and swaddle and use the dummy. I am ‘putting this baby down’ – I mean, how can I have a newborn in my arms all the time and actually get anything done with two other small children.
But if I’m not picking up a newborn, I’m picking up a demanding toddler with cries of ‘hug me Mummy’ or a preschooler who just wants to sit on my lap and tell me about his day.
I long to get to the end of the day and flop onto my bed and have 5 minutes to myself.
This isn’t to say that I’m not happy. I love being a Mum. I love breast feeding. This is just a stage of motherhood and as all things it will pass.