I’ve been having these weird dreams lately, where I am forced to choice an ex boyfriend to be with – I’m thinking I need more sleep desperately. Maybe it is my subconscious telling me that I am blessed to have found my husband? Maybe I am too critical of him, when really he doesn’t have any of the red flags that I had with my ex’s? Maybe as my mother says ‘I should be nicer to the boy’ (but hey this boy is going to be 30 next year and has slept a full night uninterrupted and gets to do poo’s by himself – oh the luxury)…but I digress.

I really want to talk about this weird dream that I’ve been having. Two of my major ex’s pop up and I am forced to choose between the two – and I’m stuck thinking surely, surely I have another option!

Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t date boys who were axe murderers, or abusive, or dead beats – I’m sure they have grown into lovely young men with good jobs and beautiful families…but we just weren’t headed in the same direction when we were younger.

I had a life plan, I had things I wanted to achieve, heck, I even took a little time out from my now husband to do what I needed to do…before I felt like I could settle down and be a wife and a mummy.

So now that I am a wife and a mummy, why are these past flames popping up in my subconscious?

And should I be glad that, even in my strange dreams where I am given these two options and I can’t remember my husband’s name or what his face looks like, I know he is the man I want (and even need)?

I wonder, when I wake up, about these gentlemen who I once loved. I wonder where their decisions have taken them, I wonder if they have gotten married and if they have become a Daddy? I think about Facebook stalking them – but then I really don’t have the time…between breast feeding, vacuuming, trying to cook a delicious meal, photographing it and blogging about it.

I wonder if I will run I into them on the street – and if they will stop and have a chat? It is unlikely as I have moved away from home…we often run into/ see my husband’s ex girlfriends.