I can’t believe that I am quoting Snoop – I never thought that would happen. Snoop Dog, or Snoop Cat, or Snoop Lion once said ‘You ain’t growing up if you ain’t losing friends’. And surprisingly, I think this may be true.
Growing up is not only about all the height growth facts, growing up means that you change. You change; where you live, what you do, what you like, what you don’t like, where you hang out, where you work, how much money you have… and this all impacts on who your friends are at that time.

Maybe losing friends is a negative way to look at it. But I would definitely say that you aren’t growing up if you aren’t changing the people who you consider your friends to be.

Now I am not saying that there can’t be that person who you were friends with at school, whom when you meet up with months, weeks, years later feels like you were hanging out with them just yesterday. These people have followed similar paths in their life and can be friends for forever.

Or there can be that friend from university, who even though your lives have taken different paths still makes the time to remember your birthday or a special event in your life. Sometimes all you need from them is a text message or a thoughtful bunch of flowers to keep the friendship flame alive.

But these types of friendships are few are far between. Most people drop you off their radar if you aren’t around them on a day to day basis.

And then there are those friends who are made because of circumstance – like when your Year 7 teacher tells you that you have to be friends with this person or you will go to hell. Yes, true story, I went to a catholic school and I’m pretty sure that I was the only Year 7 scared enough to believe her. You know that those friendships are never going to last.

You make new work friends at new work place, you make new sporting friends when your team changes for the year, you make new mummy friends as people return to work and you meet new mums around the traps.

I feel that through the years I have spun my wheels trying to hang onto friendships that obviously mean more to me than they do to the other person in the relationship.

Favours go unreturned, lunch invitations unanswered, special occasions skipped – and I’m left the one hurting (or playing out scenarios in my head that may or may not happen).

So from this day forth, I am no longer going to spin my wheels on wasted friendships.

I know that I have plenty of people around me who love me for me and genuinely enjoy my company and want to spend time with me. People that I can count on and people who make me happy – so those are the friendships that I am going to put my time, love and energy into.

Maybe it is time for a Facebook cull?

How do you define your friendships? Do you feel like you put more effort in then others?