Sometimes I think we out grow our friends and sometimes I think our friends out grow us. I like the thought that friends are here for a reason, a season or life. Some say ‘God determines who walks into your life… it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let say and who you refuse to let go of.’
I think that having children really shifts your friendship focus. You can no longer have deep and meaningfuls when there is a toddler on your lap {if you’re even that lucky – most of the time mine want to be up, up and away}, sticking their hands into babycinos, pouring salt onto the table and generally making a ruckus.
You can’t remember what you just said, let alone what your friend just told you.
So you need to find a few Mummy friends – people that understand what you’re going through {and provide that uplifting advice when you’ve been up all night after your children, who have decided to tag team all night, and yet seem to be able to function ever so brilliantly at 6am like they got a full night sleep}.
Some of these Mummy friends are entering into our lives for a reason. We have expressed {outwardly or inwardly} that we have a need. And they have come to assist us with that need – to provide us with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
She may be that Mum who helps you with your toddler {as they try and escape whilst your newborn whales in the pram}. She may be that Mum who helps you find your feet in the playground. She may be the Mum who helps you regain a little bit of yourself {that you forgot all about after having children}.
But then {without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time} this person will say or do something to bring this relationship to an end. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
Some of these Mummy friends are entering our lives for a season. It is our turn to share, grow or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!
She may be that Mum who stands with you through the long, cold winter of children’s early Saturday morning sport. She may be that Mum who is your shoulder to cry on through the teething stage. She may not be a she at all – it could be that Daddy that just makes you laugh whilst you struggle together to make it through another toddler swimming lesson {where neither of your children want to hop into the water}.
But, only for a season.
Some of these Mummy friends are entering our lives for a lifetime relationship. Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
Sometimes we want to hold onto all these friendships for a lifetime – but then that could mean a lifetime of wondering ‘what did I do to loose that friendship’, instead of just accepting that sometimes things just change.
The other night, I was playing Netball {it was my second game back after having the Little Dude} and I actually felt like I hit it off with my opponent. It was funny as I normally never talk to my opponent – I’m there for the game and I am there for the win.
However, this week I really enjoyed chatting to this mother and she is a fellow blogger.
I’m not sure which friendship category this one will fall into, but I what I do know is that I went away from our encounter on such a high and I hope that this friendship takes off and flourishes {for however long it is meant to be}.
Where did you find good Mummy friends? Did you stay friends with the people that you met at your Mums and Bubs class? Are you a fan of playgroup for Mummy stimulation {it’s not just your children socialising and making friends}? Do you play sport with a group of Mummies?
