There are a million posts about what you should pack in your bag for hospital when you go in to give birth. I’ve even thrown my ten cents in with a posts about what I put in my hospital bag the second time around {as most things I packed the first time around never saw the light of day}. What I’m more interested in discussing today is labour plans – and how I think they can set up unrealistic expectations.
As we approach ‘go time’ – I think about ‘how I’d like my labour to progress’. I never entered the labour ward with a labour plan – as from the birth stories I had been told by my Mum and by my sister, I knew that really anything could happen.
When Mr Moo was born, I laboured for 12 hours, pushed for a little over three and ended up with a vacuum extraction. I actually wasn’t to phased by it all, as it was a very similar birth story to that which my Mum had shared with me about my own birth.
But when I retold the story to other Mums in my circles – they expressed how their own births had also been ‘traumatic’ and that they wished that they had had a better birth. I was just happy that I had a happy, healthy baby in my arms {and that they didn’t have to cut my birth cannel to get him out – like they had done with my Mum}.
I laboured drug free with both boys, but in all honesty, if the OB had told me that I needed an epidural then I would have gone through with it – as she is the expert and I put all my trust in her. If she told me that my labour wasn’t progressing and I needed an emergency c-section {like my sister did in her first labour} then I would have been cool with that too.
In fact, I still pack c-section undies into my hospital bag every time I head to the birthing suite. Thankfully, I have never had to use them {touch wood}, but if I need to have a c-section for the safe arrival of my newborn, then I am okay with it.
Labour isn’t easy and sometimes Mums need help. Heck, just as many women are dying in pregnancy and childbirth in the UK as they were 20 years ago. And don’t get me started on how America can possibly rank in at 39th in the world with 16.7 deaths per 100 000 live births.
Globally, the number of deaths dropped from more than 500,000 a year in 1980 to 343,000 a year in 2008. In the last 20 years, deaths have been declining at a rate of about 1.4% a year.
I’m thankful that I am giving birth in Australia where the maternal mortality rate is the fourth lowest in the world at 5.1 deaths per 100 000 live births.
But I’m not going to feel cheated if the birth doesn’t go the way that I have thought about it going. I have no ‘birth plan’.
I am of the understanding that I am doing this for the third time and my OB, who I am putting all my trust, in has done this thousands of times – so whatever he {I’ve now got a male OB in Sydney} recommends then I will go with. As long as I have a beautiful, healthy, safe baby in my arms at the end of it… I’m happy.
I did the same with my first hospital stay – packed so much that I never used! I took a lot less the second time around, and used everything.
With my first son I’d spent a while excitedly asking my OB when we could chat about the birth plan and spoke to so many friends/family about their experiences. I think my OB was surprised when we finally got to that appointment and I said that I’d like a drug free labour but I’d do anything and everything suggested or necessary to have a healthy baby at the end. She asked if that was it and I said yep! Which was the best ‘plan’ to have in the end as it was a bit scary when they had to rush him away as soon as I pushed him out to try get him to breathe.
There’s so much unknown with labour I understand why people try to have a strict plan and experience in mind, but I also know, like you said, we are incredibly lucky to be here in Australia with the care we have. We can go in without a plan and put our faith in the skills of the medical staff who have done this thousands of times and will always put patients first.