All mums-to-be are well versed on the changes and challenges that come with each of the three trimesters of pregnancy, but should you be considering the 12 weeks post birth as a fourth? As a Mum to three children, I would say, ‘yes’. And I’ve tried to compile my 5 tips for surviving the fourth trimester {especially if you have other children at home}.
There’s a growing parenting theory about how to help your baby to adjust to the outside world after months in the womb. Pioneered by Dr Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, the idea is that parents treat themselves as a ‘walking uterus’ in the first three months after birth.
‘Our babies aren’t like horses. They can’t run the first day of life,’ Karp says. ‘And so we need to recognise that they’re evicted from the womb three months before they’re ready for the world.’
Parenting expert Sarah Ockwell-Smith adds, ‘To empathise with our newborns feelings we need to put ourselves in their place, to imagine experiencing their world – but which world? The world they have spent most of their life in, their ‘womb world’ or the world they are in now – our world.’
But, do you know who else’s world is different? The Mums. And the Dads. And the siblings.
So here are my 5 tips for surviving the fourth trimester {especially if you have other children at home}:
FEED ON DEMAND
I know that a lot of people will want you to ‘get that baby on a schedule’. But I can tell you now, that you have the child’s entire life to ‘get it on a schedule’ – so just appreciate the fact that a full baby is a happy baby and feed on demand.
Here is my thinking… Would you think it sucked if you were forced to eat at the same time every day? Do you sometimes just need a drink of water? Are you more hungry on some days then others? I’m guessing that you answered yes to most of those questions, so why would it be any different to your newborn?
I know that on demand feeding can be tough when you have other siblings to look after or you’re to get dinner on the table, but just go with it in the fourth trimester.
TRY TO INTRODUCE A DUMMY EARLY
I’ve tried introducing a dummy to all three of my children – and you know what, the first two rejected it almost automatically. It seems that the Z man is a real sucker {and has happily taken it – although maybe now that I have said that I will jinx myself and he will reject it}.
A dummy can give you a little peace when you just can’t sit down and pop them on your breast – which can become hard when you have other little people to attend to or when you’re driving.
BABY WEAR
I recommend going to try on your wrap or carrier of choice once baby arrives because you need to fit something that works for the both of you.
Baby wearing is awesome, because it not only puts baby close to you {where it has been for the past 9 months – hearing your heart} but it also gives you two free hands to get on with other things – like preparing food for other children or hanging out the washing.
ACCEPT HELP
This motherhood is a tough gig and so if someone offers you help – accept it.
If you have a mum or a grandma or an aunt or a good friend who has any experience with babies, ask for help! As long as there have been babies being born, there have been women gathering around to help new mamas through those first intense weeks with a newborn. Experienced helpers can make all the difference in how well you survive the sleepless nights, crazy hormones, and vast uncertainties that come with being a new parent.
USE A MEAL PLANNING SERVICE
Marley Spoon had me at their tagline – ‘Weeknight cooking simplified. Market fresh ingredients and delicious recipes delivered to your front door’. Who doesn’t want their weeknight cooking simplified? I mean, so many people are talking to me about meal planning and letting me know that they are having difficulties with it – this basically is the simplest meal planning around.
And it is a perfect service for when you have a newborn. It takes the stress out of thinking what you were going to prepare for dinner and getting out to do the groceries – the cooking part doesn’t bother me… the recipes were really well laid out and cooking relaxes me.
Now, what I love about this service is that I am able to head online and choose exactly what they were going to send me. And then rather then me having to pack everyone up and take a trip to the shops and then the local farmers market and then maybe to a speciality store…I just sleep and like magic, everything appears on my doorstep on the morning that I select.
What are your tips for surviving the fourth trimester?
