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Motherhood: nobody is perfect

July 29, 2014 by Shari

A little while ago, Rachel from A Mother Far From Home emailed Stacey at The Veggie Mama and asked her some curly questions about her parenting. She was going to compile them so her readers could feel a little reassured that we’re all just trying to do our best, and that nobody is perfect.

I loved the thought of this… I am daunted by the fact that I am going to have to juggle two under two in a matter of weeks. Will I be the mother that I want to be?

I loved Stacey’s post where she stated: ‘I’m so imperfect I couldn’t even get my reply email back to her on time! I started answering her questions, then I got distracted, and before you know it, I hadn’t done my bit. Eep. So in the interests of having a bit of a chat about parenting honestly, here are my answers. You can read everyone else’s here. I LOVE that picture of Rachel and her kids. That’s basically how I feel every day.’

I loved reading all the answers and so I thought that I would fill out my answers too…

1. What part of motherhood and parenting do you feel really good at?

I don’t really remember growing up and being told that I was loved or shown affection. I think this is something that I put a lot of effort into and love that Mr Moo is an affectionate child. We have ‘family’ hugs and he is even showing affection towards the baby in my belly already (we will just have to wait and see what happens when the baby actually comes home).

I also think that I am AWESOME in the singing/nursery rhymes stakes.

2. Where do you feel that you fall short?

I’m worried about having two under two and how I will cope. A couple of weeks ago we were plagued with gastro and I cried at being so overwhelmed by sickness and not knowing how I could make my baby feel better. I know that mother’s are all trying to do their best – and at that point in time, I was doing the very best I could… but I just felt like my best wasn’t good enough.

And I think that’s my problem – I want to be a perfectionist and I need to realise that sometimes beds won’t be made or dishes won’t be washed or floors will be covered in lego and that’s okay. I love my children and there is a hot meal on the table at the end of the day.

3. How do you overcome the plague that is mother guilt?

Do you ever? I guess mother guilt is felt even more when you are trying to be a perfectionist. Some of the ‘strategies’ I employ to try and rid myself of mother guilt is sitting down and talking to mother’s in similar situations – it’s always easier to look at someone else and see that they are doing a good job despite their worries… and they help to boost your self confidence too.

4. On your deathbed, what do you want to be able to say you taught your kids?

I would like to teach my children to be independent, but also see the value of others in their lives. I would like them to show empathy towards those less fortunate and to remember that ‘family’ is everything. No matter what their ‘families’ look like I want them to know that I love them no matter what, because they will always be a part of me and I am proud of them no matter what.

I want to be able to say that I taught them the joy of sport – to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser, but also to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes with achieving something (especially when that goal was achieved in a team).

And what kind of food blogger would I be if I didn’t teach them the art of cooking and the passion of being able to provide for others.

What would your answers to these questions be?


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Filed Under: life, motherhood Tagged With: mother guilt, opinions, parenting, questions, teaching, The Veggie Mama

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Hi, I’m Shari Wakefield and I am the creative director and social media manager behind the food/lifestyle blog GoodFoodWeek. I’m a mum to four beautiful boys, who spends her days working in corporate communications and her nights cooking up a storm in her kitchen. We reside in Sydney, Australiaread more

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GoodFoodWeek started in 2008 as a way of sharing recipes with uni friends and family who were spread near and far. It has evolved over the years to contain my ramblings as I’ve searched for a house, planned the perfect veggie patch, stumbled through farmer’s markets with my eye half open (because you need to be there at 6am to get the fresh eggs), had babies, gathered family and friends around a shared table, laughed out loud and enjoyed life to the fullest! Read More…

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