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Motherhood: Just because we both have babies doesn’t mean we will be friends

May 6, 2015 by Shari Leave a Comment

Motherhood can be a lonely job {especially when family and friends live in another state}. Sometimes you’ll find a friend in another mother who is battling the same demons as you, and other times you will feel that just because some one is a mother, doesn’t always mean that you will be friends. But this month, I’m hoping that we can all find it in our hearts to offer up a little bit of extra kindness towards one another. 

There is no one-way and there is no right way to raise a child.  For example; some people will let their babies cry it out, some people will rock their babies to sleep until they’re just too heavy to do so with, and others will co-sleep.  This is just a mere three options to sleep and there are many more {so let’s just say parenting minds differ a lot}.
The fact is that are many ways to raise a child and I feel that whatever works for you and your family is okay. But this isn’t the way everyone thinks – some people want to ram their parenting experiences and methods down your throat {I’ve spoken about the Kanye West type here}.
You come home from hospital with your bundle of joy and many Australian mother’s are directed to a ‘mother’s group’. In sleepless nights and cracked nipples you can find some solidarity – but as children grow and parenting styles establish you can sometimes find yourself not quiet fitting in with these ladies.
I saw one mother attend just one of our mother’s groups and when we started discussing breastfeeding I could see she was uncomfortable. She was bottle-feeding her baby, and although no one had said anything negative about it, she quickly exited the class and never came back. I wanted to approach the mother, but she left so quickly.
I wanted to say, ‘Hey Mama, you’re doing an awesome job’ – but I didn’t. And I am sorry that I didn’t. 


As your family grows you change and adjust to the circumstances that are put before you. When you have add another baby into the mix it will inevitability get harder – but that’s no reason to put down another Mama who has less children.
I’ve been told so many times that ‘two is easy – have three or four and then you’ll see how difficult it can be’.
Okay, I can count… three would inevitability be more work then two. But in this moment, two comes with their own set of challenges.
Nevertheless, when my friend had her third, I tried to help her out with a delivery of fresh bread, morning tea {because what new Mama doesn’t miss the morning tea that hospital puts on}, and the offer of 30 minutes to wash her hair whilst I watched the kids.
I hope she heard, ‘Hey Mama, you’re doing an awesome job and I just want to help you out in any way that I can’.


Motherhood can be a lonely road and I just want the world to be a little kinder to one another this month {well from now on}. You don’t necessarily have to be best friends with the Mama to show some solidarity and kindness. She is just trying to do what she thinks is best for her baby in that moment of time.

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Filed Under: motherhood Tagged With: challenges, change, friendship, mother guilt, mothers group, raising children

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Hi, I’m Shari Wakefield and I am the creative director and social media manager behind the food/lifestyle blog GoodFoodWeek. I’m a mum to four beautiful boys, who spends her days working in corporate communications and her nights cooking up a storm in her kitchen. We reside in Sydney, Australiaread more

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I’ve been working with brands and writing sponsored content since 2010.
Some of the brands that I have worked with include; Foxtel, Tommee Tippee, Murray Valley Pork, Mater Mothers, Redbelly Citrus, Home Hello, Majestic Mushrooms, and Littlebean Organics.
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GoodFoodWeek started in 2008 as a way of sharing recipes with uni friends and family who were spread near and far. It has evolved over the years to contain my ramblings as I’ve searched for a house, planned the perfect veggie patch, stumbled through farmer’s markets with my eye half open (because you need to be there at 6am to get the fresh eggs), had babies, gathered family and friends around a shared table, laughed out loud and enjoyed life to the fullest! Read More…

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