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Motherhood: Are you an over-thinker?

July 7, 2017 by Shari

Do you watch ‘Offspring’? Do you relate to Nina Proudman? Are you an over-thinker? I know that I am an over-sharer, but I also think that I am an over-thinker.

I over-think, well, pretty much everything. In fact, I over-thought this story for so long, I almost didn’t write it. You see, I wrote something and then I wondered how it would be perceived and if people would comment. And then I thought about those pretend comments and I thought about how I would come back to those ‘made up’ comments.

I have read that ‘Procrastination is a byproduct of an over-thinking mind. Over-thinkers tend to overexert the brain and consequently we over-analyse EVERYTHING’.

I often build scenarios in my mind.

And I often replay scenarios in my mind.

I think about what I could have said in a situation – I cleverly craft my ever word, that is never actually uttered in real life.

I was watching Erin from The Mums group’s instagram stories the other day, and she mentioned how she had seen a lady at school pickup and that she looked familiar. And then later, she had realised that it was someone that she went to school with, but then it felt like every time she saw her again, that that lady was avoiding her gaze.

She’d built up in her mind that that lady didn’t like her and then when she finally did speak to her, the women brushed it off and said that she just presume that Erin hadn’t recognised her. And there actually was no ‘beef’ there. But she’d worked herself up with scenarios in her head.

I do that, I do it ALL THE TIME!

I wonder if it is because I don’t have the opportunity to talk these situations through with anyone? Well, not ‘anyone’. I have friends. It is just that the people who I spend the majority of my time with are 4 yrs old, 2 yrs old and 8 months old. And I really only get to spend time with my husband two days a fortnight {if that} – so I don’t want to waste my air time with these random thoughts that seem to consume my mind sometimes.

Sometimes, I will think about something and I will bring it up with my husband and he will turn to me and say ‘just don’t think about it’. But I just can’t turn off my brain like that. Or I will turn to him whilst we are driving in the car and ask ‘what are you thinking about?’ {most of the time because I want to stop myself from thinking about the thing that I was thinking about} and he will reply ‘I wasn’t thinking about anything’. I wish I could quiet my mind like that.

I’ve been trying to use two techniques to ‘quiet my mind’ of late.

The first technique that I have been using involves some meditation and breathing to move past negative thoughts. I used this technique to have three, drug free labours – so surely I can use it to push past some negative thoughts! I take a deep breath in and say, in my mind, ‘in with positive energy’ and then I release the breath and say, in my mind, ‘out with the negative thoughts’. I try and do it 10 times and it seems to be working.

The second technique that I have been using involves writing things down on paper to get them out of my mind – I do this more with the ‘clutter’ that I find fills my mind. I love being able to see that I am powering through a ‘to-do’ list or know that I have an answer to the problem that I was trying to solve {that came to me in the middle of the night – you know, when all of your children are actually asleep and you should be sound asleep too}.

Are you an over thinker? Do you build scenarios in your mind? Do replay scenarios in your mind? What techniques do you use to quiet your mind?

 

 

 

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Filed Under: life, motherhood

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Hi, I’m Shari Wakefield and I am the creative director and social media manager behind the food/lifestyle blog GoodFoodWeek. I’m a mum to four beautiful boys, who spends her days working in corporate communications and her nights cooking up a storm in her kitchen. We reside in Sydney, Australiaread more

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I’ve been working with brands and writing sponsored content since 2010.
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GoodFoodWeek started in 2008 as a way of sharing recipes with uni friends and family who were spread near and far. It has evolved over the years to contain my ramblings as I’ve searched for a house, planned the perfect veggie patch, stumbled through farmer’s markets with my eye half open (because you need to be there at 6am to get the fresh eggs), had babies, gathered family and friends around a shared table, laughed out loud and enjoyed life to the fullest! Read More…

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